Monday, October 22, 2007

Music Memory Monday #4

Oh my, oh my. Even the first few notes of this song just makes my heart start to got pitter patter. Wow. Honestly I haven't thought about this memory for three years - in fact almost exactly three years ago.

Let me start with then, three years ago. I attended the funeral for someone I had known almost my entire life. And yet someone that I really never knew. Taylor John Marshall died in October 2004. His parents and mine have been friends since, well really since I can remember.

Standing there at his funeral, listening to his friends remember the person they knew, made me realize that we are different people to everyone we know. This isn't bad or good, this is just the way that perspective works. My memory of Taylor, before he passed, was mixed with emotion. For a while he had been selfish, snobby, rude, and obnoxious. I had, at one point in my life, an amazingly large crush on him - one that would simmer just below the surface for several years (sometimes not as under the surface as I thought). His contempt for my crush was at times very obvious, which sometimes fueled my desire and at other times fueled my low teenage esteem.

I found myself fading in and out during the funeral. Reverting to memories, many of them, that I had with Taylor. Suddenly I realized that there was a moment in time where Taylor was defined in my mind forever. The years and experiences that came after jaded this memory, but in its original state this moment with him was, the best.

In 1992 I was an eighth-grader. I have yet to met someone who LOVED their Junior High year experience - especially a girl. Junior High is awkward, and emotional, and hormonal. At this particular time my crush was not under the surface. In fact, after having moved away for a few years, my three years in Junior High were spent with lots of thought headed towards Taylor. Before I moved we were inseparable - but at an age where boys & girls were buddies. So now being unnoticed by him made him even more desirable.

He, on the other hand, seemed more distant the more I tried to get noticed. It was a bitter cycle.

So in 1992, at the end of my Junior High career I attended the 8th Grade Dance. This celebration of our triumph through hormones, sexist math teachers, and uncomfortable gym classes, was looked forward to by most everyone - me especially.

All night I hoped Taylor would dance with me. I'm embarrassed now to think how much I pined, but I did. Each slow song came and went...songs like:

"If You Asked Me To" ~ Celine Dion
"Tears in Heaven" - Eric Clapton (only Junior High students could obliviously dance to this song)
"Don't Let The Sun Go Down On Me" ~ George Michael & Elton John

And nothing. No glances or anything from him.

Finally, at the end of the night, he started to make his way to my side of the room. Even now it is like magic in my mind. The song started, and I knew what it was. I hoped, no, PRAYED he was headed my way.

We didn't really say anything during the dance, but he did thank me at the end. I think I was on cloud nine not only the whole night, but also through that whole summer. Probably would have been forever if I did not realize that High School also had hormones, sexist math teachers, and uncomfortable gym classes.

This songs holds Taylor - the one I always want to remember. The one who saved the best for last. This is the memory of him I choose for last.

Music Memory Monday #4

2 comments:

Terina said...

i don't know how many people i danced with during that song. it even gave me a little flashback. but not to dancing with taylor....

Ms. Liz said...

What a beautiful memory. I love this song too. I think my first junior high kiss was during this song. I'm here to tag you as well. Ready go. The rules and stuff are on my "I'm It" blog.