Tuesday, November 25, 2008


I think I have moved past tired.

Past exhaustion.

And now, I'm fatigued.  Body slowing, mind-aching, soul-grating fatigue.

This is the eighth night in a row of me waking up between 3:00am and 5:00am.  The last few days it's been getting earlier.  



Even 2:45 yesterday.  

Last night I forced myself to stay up until 10:30.  I sound like an old lady.

I'm not sure what's waking me up.  Part of me wants to set an alarm and see if maybe the sprinklers turn on or off, or a train is sounding in the distance (like the one right now).

I know what keeps me up though.  Once my mind gets powered it's a fantastically moving machine jumping from one thought to the next, pulling up worry after worry, and reminding me of to-do lists that still need boxes checked.


Part of me is always glad to be up before the rest of the fam (or in this case, the rest of the world).  I love seeing the sky lighten.  I love getting my shower in, my breakfast eaten, and maybe even a book read before anyone else requires something of me.

But then my mind starts the thinking.  If I don't keep it actively engaged in a good cause it turns on itself.  

And that makes me tired.

And then....the kids get up.

Thursday, November 13, 2008

Overhead in Chicago

I'm on a trip to Chicago. E is here for work and since I had a free plane ticket I figured I'd take advantage of a free trip. And you all know I love Chicago.

There have been serious things on my mind - but in a full and complete effort to block them out I'm choosing to blog about things I've heard in Chicago and NOT the other things.

I'm writing things down in my journal while out walking and will transfer them here. Here are some juicy nuggets thus far:


(at dinner at Pizzeria Uno)
Grandma: "You stink. What are they feeding you at that daycare?"
Little boy: "Food."
Grandma: "What kind of food? Dog food? They giving you Alpo? You smell like dog food."

The best part of Wednesday night dinner, besides being with just E, was sitting next to a table with three women (I'd say mid-fifties). They had quite the verbal agenda and I had a hard time carrying on a conversation with E instead of eavesdropping.

Episode One:
Woman #1: My Mom died, two weeks later my husband filed for divorce, and the next week was Christmas.
Woman #2: That's horrible. During the Christmas season?
Woman #1: Yes. I treated myself to lots of pedicures. Figured it was worth it.

Episode Two:
Woman #3: Have your read anything of Sandra Lee's?
Woman #1: From the song?
Woman #3: No. She's a cook. She does semi-homemade food.
(She then goes on for a good twenty minutes about Sandra Lee's history which not only sounds like a mix between a sales-pitch for Sandra Lee and a religious testimony AND it works this woman up to tears. Tears. At some point they change the subject but woman #3 is determined to share everything she wants about Sandra Lee)
Woman #3: But back to Sandra Lee. She's a semi-homemade food maker. You get that right?
Woman #2: Yes, you told us. She makes homemade food but with shortcuts.
Woman #1: I think we all agreed that she's got a good concept.
Woman #3: You should see some of her recipes! I mean, she has you just take a cake mix and then you can do all these things with it. It's all semi-homemade.

Walking around downtown.

Man on cell: No, I did not say you could use my bathtub. You just don't use other people's bathtubs.

Man & Woman on corner. He's looking at a map and she's trying to explain her directions.
Man: You don't know your way around this town like I do.
Woman: Well I did live here for ten years.

more to come...