Tuesday, February 06, 2007

the voices in my head

By now many of you who read this might already suspect that I am crazy. Well the subject of this post is sure to confirm that notion for you. However - it is really just one voice, my own. And I know for a fact that everyone else does this same thing so I'm not THAT crazy.

I mean, come on. We all interpret things internally. For example, someone might say to you 'Gosh it's been a long time since I've seen you. You've really changed'. You then think to yourself 'Changed? Changed for the good? Changed for the bad?’ Of course depending on your level of consciousness (id, ego, superego and all that crap) you might spend more time interpreting: 'Does that mean I'm fat?' 'Do they not like my hair?' 'They are jealous because I look so good' etc.

Why is it that we spend so much time in our minds? Thinking about situations. Wondering about material between the words that were said or the lines that were written. Second-guessing ourselves, others, everyone?

In the end we find ourselves with no (or little) factual information and a lot of assumptions. And I hate assumptions.

So why do we do this?

I've had conversations in the past few days with others who have talked themselves into situations with me without ever having asked me anything. They've determined that I'm angry with them, or don't like them, or something else (usually negative) based on minimal reality-based information and maximum theory.

I'm not judging - trust me. I sat here tonight after being given information and talked myself into a fight with someone, without them even knowing! I answered my phone - had a brief conversation in which I was given some 'facts' by a third party. Immediately I assume that I'm being excluded, which must mean that I'm disliked, which must mean blah, blah, blah.

I am actually supposed to be focused on math homework - functions and graphing to be exact. What is interesting about it is that in algebra it is suggested that you find at least three points before graphing a line so that you are sure of the graph's shape. In relationships though we often take one 'point' and determine a whole line of thought based off of that. I hate having to admit that in an abstract way algebra is useful in reality - a thought I have been fighting ever since high school.

I guess this blog tonight is really just me trying to express frustration at a process that seems so ingrained in our human behavior and yet so detrimental to human coexistence!

Or maybe I'm just thinking too much about it.

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