Friday, March 23, 2007

I don't like you!

The weather has been so amazing here that I cannot stand to be indoors. Each morning the boys (minus E) and I have headed off for some adventure. The zoo, the park, the library...etc. It is great to get them out and moving in the morning, and I do so much better being out of the house.

Tuesday I took the boys to a local park. This park is wonderfully huge and has so many different playgrounds that you can easily get away from the crowd. I've been consumed by a wonderful book lately (The Other Boleyn Girl- I finished it yesterday) so I wanted a playground where I could watch the boys play without too many other big kids pushing them around. Of course this part was wonderful for that, but I couldn’t resist playing with them.

About twenty minutes into our play another kid showed up. I get a little territorial when it comes to my boys (all three of them) so I watch this kid to make sure he's going to interact well with W&W. He climbs up by where I am standing, looks at me and says 'I don't like you'. Now this is within two minutes of his arrival. No reason for him to not like me, yet. I smile and say 'Well that's just too bad now isn't it.' trying to take the 'high road' against an eight-year old. He scampers off, comes back and says to me again 'I don't like you'. This time, instead of being a polite mommy, not to mention the fact that his Dad was twenty feet away chain-smoking, I turned to him and said 'I don't like you either'. I followed this by the classic sticking out of the tongue. He scampered off again and I just laughed...and laughed...and couldn't stop laughing!

Of course it was sad that I stooped down to an eight-year old's level but it was so refreshing! I wanted to start walking around and just say 'I don't like you' to random people on the street, just to see their reactions! The truth is that I like more people than I do not. And I try very hard (some would say too hard) to like those who do not initially catch my favor.

However, the people (and I am talking about a specific group - none of whom would be reading this) that I do not like are really starting to drive me crazy. Crazy enough that I really want to say 'I don't like you'.

Now I know at least one of you, and I can guess who that would be, is going to say that I should just say it. That I should just step away from the people and stop worrying about trying to like them, or trying to please them, or trying to change them.

I cannot say it. Not in real life. There are many, many reasons. None of which I can really share without starting to share facts that would link to specific individuals. And to be fair, they aren't necessarily doing anything on purpose to make me not like them. Goes back to the old saying, 'it's not you, it's me'. Like 8th grade break-ups.

Too bad this isn't 8th grade. Well, actually I'm glad it's not 8th grade. I did like my English teacher (Mrs. Hall) and I loved getting in trouble for talking with Autumn in class all the time. We made lots of fun movies for projects, ones that cause red cheeks and tears of embarrassment now. 8th grade overall was hard though, mostly because you could still say or be told 'I don't like you'. It was usually combined with something like 'I don't like you, and neither does Katherine, Anne or Mary*. We think you should sit at another table'. It would have been better if I was the one hearing it, but usually I was the snotty brat saying it.

Which is why my behavior at the playground was so funny. Here I am, significantly older than I was in 8th grade, reverting to youthful antics.

And yet, in the end, I still wouldn't mind gathering a group of people together, and saying 'I don't like you', oh, and 'Have a nice day'.

*Catch that?


Terina said...

no i didn't. and its going to bother me until i know what you were saying. and you're right, you should just be done with them all. eliminate the people that are bringing you down, or at least aren't really bringing you up.

It's just me... said...

Katherine, Anne and Mary were all wives of Henry VIII! I had to reference them since I was reading the book!