Dum Dums are not just another type of sucker...

Well today I've decided that Dum Dums are not just another type of sucker. In short- I am another type of sucker. Or for that matter Dum Dums and I are related. I've heard the saying that children in your arms are no longer under foot- in fact my Grandma has actually quoted that directly to me. Honestly I've never really understood it. Then again maybe I've never heard it because I usually have my children in my arms while they are screaming so I can't hear!

My realization of my dummy-hood comes on the celebration of my motherhood. Today is Mother's Day. This celebration is the holy, sacred day for Mother's. In fact, as I toured the local WalMart yesterday (yes it was a BAD day for shopping) doing the rounds buying gifts for all the women in my life I realized that the best Mother's Day gift* would be for Eric to do all of the Mother's Day shopping! That aside it did give me the chance to think about all of the wonderful women that I know in my life. One is my biological mother Grandma KK as she is referred to often. She is my rock. I call her more often than I call anyone else and trust her with things I do not trust myself with.

Others are not mothers to me by birth, and maybe not even related to me by blood. However these not-my-official moms provide a world of sanity, education, love, and friendship that I could not survive without. Some call me weekly even if I fail to dial their number. Some wait for me to call and then talk like we've never not spoken. Often times they watch my kids while I go to a movie, or listen to me sob about the latest drama I've concocted. Regardless it occurs to me that I am 1/2 of what I am because of all of my 'mothers'. And I thank each of you for that.

But as blessed as I may be in friendship and love- I am not so blessed with grade-A mothering skills. Don't get me wrong, I am a good mother. However my child, Will, decided tonight that he did not want to go to sleep. And after he had spent a total of 20 minutes in his bed screaming I of course, decide that it is ok if he comes out on the couch and cuddles while I watch my latest DVD of Scrubs. That just chirps the kid right on up. The canned laughter coming out of the tv was better than candy for him and he was soon bouncing off the walls. C'est la vie (boheme).

This example is just about the umpteenth example of dummy motherhooding that I've exhibited lately. The reality is, as I am rapidly learning, that there is no such thing as perfect motherhood. Those of you, formerly me, out there that think there is will be faced with some sad reality later. I've found that with motherhood the more I stop trying to control everything the more control I actually have. And that also means that I enjoy it more.

As I reflect on the past three Mother's Days that I've celebrated I have found something magical- I love being a mother. I applaud those of you out there that already know having children is not for you. I envy those of you who knew right at the onset that you would love motherhood. You even knew it before you had kids. Me, I hoped that I would love it. I babysat kids and grew close to them- became proud of their growth and progress just like they were mine. But they weren't mine and I got to go home. Becoming a mother has made me stronger, smarter, more patient (a long time coming, I know!), more trusting, and more aware of what love really is. I am so grateful for my children.

This does not mean that Mother's Day was exactly peachy. The notion that Moms would get a day off is a pipe-dream of someone who is not a Mother. Aside from the poop Walker did IN his high chair, not in his diaper in the highchair, more like OUT of his diaper IN the highchair. That was quickly followed up by Walker hitting Will on the head repeatedly with a play car causing Will to scream and cry, which then made Walker scream and cry. I had the Mo Tab in my room! The icing on the cake though was when Walker fell down the stairs. He did want to cuddle though.

And since most of you reading this are excited to hear about the boys- they are great. We have had an amazing week! We've made new friends with Lexi and Molly, not to mention all the animals at the Zoo (Will especially loves the Teddy Bears), started our Salt Lake City Gets Fit Together program, been to Goosey's house, and the best part of this week, participated in the Race for the Cure. That was a perfect way to start the emotions going for the weekend. You can read about that and see a couple of pictures at:

http://race.komenslc.org/site/TR?px=1033901&pg=personal&fr_id=1020

Speaking of pictures, this slideshow from Slate.com was amazing if you are interested.

http://todayspictures.slate.com/20060512/

Happy Mother's Day,
Shelly, aka Momma B

*this was not meant to distract from the fact that, in typical Eric fashion, my Mother's Day presentS were wonderful. Eric made me (through the wonder that is Apple) books detailing the births of each of my two boys. I highly recommend this type of a gift for anyone in your lives!*