I'm getting excited for Fall. I've always loved this season - the change in temperatures, the colors in nature, and the chance to pull out clothes from the closet that have been neglected for 1/2 a year.
As you know, if you know me at all, I'm a function over form kind of girl. I wear clothes that allow me to get down and play during the day..and if I look cute then it's a bonus. In short - I look like a stay-at-home-mom. Sometimes I don't mind...sometimes I do.
Now, I've never been into fashion. In fact, two weeks ago at a Girl's Night Out I won a copies of the latest Vogue and Marie Claire - I picked the stack because it came with Root Beer. I didn't even realize the magazines came with it and wasn't quite sure what to do with them. When someone asked - I readily traded them for a salad bowl and hot chocolate. Function. Then I surprised myself. I bought a purple shirt. Two of them. Both from the clearance rack. I was thrilled for a little color in the line-up of my normal black, brown, white, and red collection.
And then I got a surprise. I look good in purple. And it's one of the Fall fashion colors - as I was told by the woman who traded her root beer for my fashion mags.
I'm not sure why I've always wanted to be a bird. But I have. Every time someone asks whether I'd rather be a fish or a bird (I think it's a question in the Book of Questions) it's an easy answer. Being able to soar above everything. Flying free. Using the wind to buoy me up and learning how to control it to drive me higher. Birds are used in many instances to
So when I found a package at my door two days ago with a gift from my friend Kat, it seemed fitting to find a nest carefully wrapped up in the packaging.
It wasn't a surprise to find the nest. I knew she had been working on it and that, in the end, I would be the grateful recipient of it. However I was surprised at how overwhelmed I was to actually hold it in my hands and then place it on, above my heart.
See, the draw for me to the life of the bird comes from the notion that it would bring freedom and peace. In the midst of this place I'm in right now (both emotionally and physically) there are moments where I long to walk outside, spread my wings, and take off.
The nest reminded me, so sweetly with it's two small eggs, that my choices to stay at home with the boys, provide them with my own version of refuge, and make an attempt to raise them, are valid. As we've investigated new directions for our family, and I've tried taking out my wings again, the nest has been a welcome reminder of the real one that exists and the decisions that brought it to be. The freedom that I've had this whole time.
Most mornings at my grandparents house you'd find my Grandpa, Bob, enjoying the early morning in his spa. Built as an add-on to the house the spa room reminds me a lot of the house I lived in when I was a kid, if only because it has dark paneling. The lid to the spa itself is the covered in brown vinyl. It smells musty, and after the spa has been running it smells a little like a sauna. The spa came with the house and while I doubt it was a buying point for my Grandpa, it sure turned into a treat for him. Which made it a treat for all of us.
Some mornings, when I'd rise early enough, I'd find myself sitting in the kitchen eating Honeycomb, which was always on supply at their house, and listening to the soft sounds of my Grandpa singing from his spa. Now, you had to be careful. Grandpa sometimes treated himself to his spa time al fresco. Since the kitchen was adjacent to the spa room he'd come wandering in the room, still humming, with his towel around his waist. "You're lucky Shellgirl. I remembered my towel this morning." His skin was always so white and pruny. His gray-white hair would be swirled in different directions and it always made me wonder if he might have ben swimming out there, instead of soaking.
Then he'd walk through the house, finishing his song. He'd usually tease my Grandma by grabbing hold of her, twirl her around a little, and sing her a line. Always the same song. In the spa. In the hall. With her. Eddy Arnold's Cattle Call. Silly and simple song.
And my Grandpa thought himself a silly, simple man. At least in the years I knew him best. The truth is, as usual, much more complex. A devoutely religious man my Grandpa had a quick wit, an active mind, and a sharp tongue. He once chastised me publicly during a discussion about parades and then marched out of the room in a successful move to end the conversation. I still have a mix of emotions when I think back on that moment. It stung like a slap.
Yet I couldn't have asked for a better man to have in my life. Every child should be able to get love from whoever is willing to give it and my grandparents shared it with us in large doses. Mediated of course by smaller doses of life lessons and discipline. Some people are lucky enough to have two sets of grandparents who love and treasure them - at least in some version. My Dad's parents never played a large part in our life. Mostly because my Dad's Mom died when I was young. And because my Dad was never close to his Dad. It made us even more fortunate that my grandparents were willing to love us and share their life. Add to that the close proximity in which we lived for the first 14 years of my life, until they move out of state.
I realize that my relationship with my grandparents is not the same one that everyone has with their own grandparents. And that even within my own family there is disconnect and discontent. I cannot control that though, even though I've tried for years. Grandpa knew about it and it weighed heavily on his heart. In his own way he tried to love everyone. I know it wasn't easy for everyone to see past his expression of religion, or his stout opinions. Trust me, I know. Still, you knew what to expect.
You knew to expect the cattle call in the morning. You knew to expect that he'd offer you strange conglomerations of juice. You knew he'd offer a sharp retort to something you said but then always squeeze you extra tight when you left.
And you knew, at least I did, that when he left it would be life changing.
Happy Birthday Grandpa. I know you are happy wherever you are. Just wish you were here still.
There is so much to write about! I love all the comments from my last post about Independence - plus I had a new experience this weekend that I need to evaluate and then share. Yet I am at home potty training (Walker, not me) and feeling the need for something fun and not as serious. Plus it's Monday and time for Music Memory Monday!
So on Saturday I got to spend three hours sorting, cleaning, and organizing the boys' room. It was heaven by itself (given my affinity for organizing AND the fact I got a label maker from the boys for Christmas!!). My joy was added to by the fact that I donated two bags of clothes and a bag of toys. For me there is a direct relationship between stuff and junk in my real world and stuff and junk in my soul. Dropping those bags off to the Goodwill was almost like a good therapy session.
On top of the absolute fun I had with the activity itself I was ecstatic to plug in my iPod to my portable player and crank up whatever I wanted to listen to. I spent the first 1 1/2 hours listening to an episode of Wait, Wait Don't Tell Me and the end of an episode of This American Life. While these are not music and therefore don't qualify for my Music Memory I have to put a plug in for both of them. I know I'm an NPR addict but these are real treasures. Wait, Wait is a game show with a pop-quiz style format featuring stories from the news. They have a panel as well as guest players. This American Life is indescribable. Well ok, they way they describe themselves is: "There's a theme to each episode, and a variety of stories on that theme. It's mostly true stories of everyday people, though not always. There's lots more to the show, but, like we said, it's sort of hard to describe." I can only say you have to listen to it. They suggest going to their favorites and downloading one or two for a listen. From their chosen favorites I highly suggest 'Act V', '24 Hours at the Golden Apple', and 'My Experimental Phase'. We use these as our road trip listens rather than books on tape now. There has only been one that I don't like - and I've easily listened to one hundred of them.
Ok - ok. I am rambling. But the above is useful information so I'll consider myself thanked by you.
The real listening treat on Saturday came when I decided to veer away from the spoken word and crank on some music. My iPod is in need of music face-lift so I spent some time just tooling from playlist to playlist. When I finally landed on one I listened to the playlist three times. But before I share it with you I need to take you back in time.
In 2002 I had the chance for work to travel to Idaho on a marketing expedition. We were growing our business there and I needed to network. Eric took some time off and travelled with me. We were spending two nights in Boise - one night full of interviews, hiring and training new teachers. The other night, on a fluke, I bought tickets at Boise State University for the Broadway tour of Rent. I had never heard of this musical, nor had Eric, but we were up for an adventure.
It was a life-changing, mind-blowing experience. We walked out with Eric claiming that he had found a new all-time favorite musical. Seriously - Rent beats Les Miz, Phantom, Wicked - all of them for Eric. (technically Rent is a Rock Opera) Honestly I was still in a little bit of shock. That night remains such a vivid memory for me. Trying to digest the emotion of the music, the political musings, and the societal messages. Hard to believe we had this experience in good ole' Boise.
Rent is often known (to those who haven't seen it) as the musical where everyone is gay and has AIDS. In fact there was a Team America: World Police had a whole scene devoted to it. Most people don't know that Rent is actually based off of Puccini's 'La Boheme'.
Rent isn't for the faint of heart. Yes there are gay people. Yes there is a drag queen. Yes they use the 'F' word a lot -especially in the musical. If you can have an open mind, it will blow your mind. You'll think differently about love, AIDS, gay, straight - all of it.
Here's a brief description of the characters. For more information on the plot line, characters, and more go here.
Mark - a filmmaker and the 'narrator' of the story. Dated Maureen. He is roommates and best friends with Roger. (Originally played by Anthony Rapp who reprises the role in the movie)
Roger - a musician. He got AIDS from his former fiancee who killed herself after getting the news. Since then he's depressed, unable to write, and just waiting to die (even though he's healthy and young). (Originally played by Adam Pascal who reprises the role in the movie)
Mimi - a young 'exotic' dancer with HIV. Has her eyes set on Roger. She has a drug problem which provides a problem for she and Roger. (Played by Rosario Dawson in the movie)
Maureen - Mark's ex girlfriend who is now with Joanne...or at least for most of the musical. Maureen is a performance artist with a flair for drama. (Originally played by Idina Menzel -yes, the original Elphaba - who reprises the role in the movie)
Joanne - Maureen's girlfriend and a newcomer to the group. She's a lawyer and her lines in 'Take Me or Leave Me' are classics! (Played by in the movie Tracis Thoms)
Collins - Falls in love with Angel who saves him from a fight. Collins is a philosophy professor and anarchist. Collins also has AIDS. (Originally played by Jesse L. Martin who reprises the role in the movie)
Angel - the muse of the musical Angel is a talented percussionist who usually plays on the street. She is a cross-dresser who has AIDS. (Originally played by Wilson Jermaine Heredia who reprises the role in the movie)
Benny - a former member of the group who married well and has new ideas of how to make the world a better place. In the opening scene of Rent the characters are singing about not paying rent after receiving an eviction notice from Benny. Benny and Mimi dated once. (Originally played by Taye Diggs who reprises the role in the movie)
Hollywood finally made a movie - which is fantastic. It features many of the original Broadway cast members (see above). Still the live version is so much grittier. Here are some scenes from the movie. It was PG-13 but I've put warnings with each clip.
Seasons of Love: This is the most well-known song from Rent. This scene is from the movie opening.
The Tango Maureen: Mark, who used to date Maureen, shows up to help her set up for a performance only to find her new lover, Joanna, instead. They find out their bond through Maureen is a little too similar. Great song for anyone who has felt absolutely crazy in love. (the 'f' word is abundant in this one so watch when the kids aren't around)
Out Tonight(the first part of the video): Raunchy and dark - and totally addicting! Mimi, a stripper, is trying to catch eye. As she leaves the club she works at she sings about wanting to go out. He's a recovering addict who lost his fiancee to drugs and isn't sure he wants to go back the down that path. (she is a stripper so her dancing leaves little for the imagination though her clothes stay on)
I'll Cover You: Angel and Collins (yes he's the Jesse Martin from Law & Order!) decide to be a couple. This is a scene between a man (Collins) and a drag queen (Angel) so if that subject material isn't for you then skip this one. The song is a great tribute to love.
La Vie Boheme: A former member of the group has married well and is now forcing them to pay rent for the building he originally let them stay in. He seems himself as a force for positive change - everyone in the group sees him as a traitor and a 'suit'. When he tells them that Bohemia is dead they sing in honor of La Vie Boheme. mentions a lot of controversial subjects and includes some suggestive dancing)
Take Me or Leave Me: This scene occurs shortly after Joanna and Maureen have a commitment ceremony (yes, they are lesbians). In case it's not obvious - they break up at the end of the scene. Part of the musical is their journey away from and back to each other.
Ok I better stop. I could keep posting and by the time I'm done my blog would have all of the video.
Going to this musical really helped me face my own prejudices about AIDS, LGBT issues, and drug use. Eric was the original Rent-head in our family but it did not take me long to fall in love with it. At the end of writing this I am realizing that this post was serious - so much for wanting just something 'fun'. I still got to watch most of the movie though in picking out the clips! Now that's fun.
Some love raindropson roses and whiskers on kitten, bright colored sashes and warm woolen mittens...
Me on the other hand...well, I have lots of favorites and no doubt will post more on here as the blog progresses.
However, as I sat down to read my book today,Helen of Troy, I found myself smiling at my bookmark. Technically it isn't even a bookmark but rather a magnetic page clip made by Re-Mark.
The re-marks that I own are the ladybug design page clips. Aren't they adorable?!?!
I bought these about a year ago, put them away during the move and found them recently. Being one to easily loose bookmarks these have really helped - not to mention that they are so cute that I spend almost as much time looking at them that I do reading (ok, that is a major exaggeration but they are that cute)
. The company's website is getting a make-over, so this is all you get once you get there...but how fun are all of these!
