Sunday, June 28, 2009

Notes on old.

Old.  It's my new four-letter word.  Sure it's only got three letters, but if you say it in my direction you might as well be an f-bomb dropping sailor.

Here are the reasons why:

The Tipper and I
It was in the car when I was first confronted with my growing chronological marker.  I was groovin' to KISS FM when a new song came on.  Always in a quest for a good running tune I was drawn to it's beat and turned up the radio.  I couldn't really hear all the lyrics so I made a note to myself to look it up on iTunes and listen before I bought.  And then, the chorus came on.  "Shush girl, shut your lips, do the Helen Keller and talk with your hips".  Do they even know who Helen Keller was? Ugh - I am so offended by this song!  And it's not the shut your lips use your hips part - I've listened to songs much worse than that and liked them.  It's the "Do the Helen Keller" line.  What?  I mean really - what?And you see, herein lies the problem, I am offended by a pop song!  What?  

Age Spots
In one week I injured my knee, gained some water weight, plucked two gray hairs and got a rash.  Maybe each of these, if separated by time, would not be a big deal.  But together it was enough for me to both cry in the shower AND vow that no husband of mine will ever be changing my diaper.  I'll have Dr. Death on my speed dial.

Senator Boxer* 
The use of the word Ma'am in my direction is becoming a daily occurrence.  If store really wanted to make a return buyer out of me they'd tell their staff to call anyone who looks less than 40 "Miss".  (*click here if you don't get that reference - and yeah, don't get me started on that!)

On that same note, maybe I do look older than thirty.  My cute Japanese brother told me yesterday, when he was told I was the big 3-0, said "You don't look 30" and for a moment I worried he'd say he thought I was older.

Tick, tock, THUMP, POUND:
My biological clock is pounding.  Nope, not ticking.  Pounding.   Neither of my two children were created because my bio clock told me it was time.  I wanted a baby - but there was no sudden URGE to have one.  There were alternative factors at (or not at) work.  But now  I see babies everywhere, except with me.  Everyone's having them, everyone's doin' it.  They're the new fall accessory and my retail store is closed!  Not to mention that in my youth making the decision to have a baby was as easy as flipping a coin.  Whether or not it should have been this easy is another conversation.  Now, as a wizened 30 year-old I cannot just say "because it feels right".  

Five and Four:
Nothing makes you feel older than noting the age of your children.  I'm sure my mother would agree.  Will starts Kindergarten in one month.  Kindergarten.  Will.  Me with a Kindergartner.  3rd grade, 6th grade, 12th grade - they'll all be here before I know it and I'll be sitting at this blog (if I remember my password then) crabbing about their age.  Not to mention that my baby, my BABY will be four in two months.  Four.  It doesn't seem like much when I type it, but when I hold him and feel his oh-so-not-a-baby body, my heart sinks.  It's going too fast.

Generation Gap Close:
Icons from my generation have started to die.  I hate to say it, it's only gonna get worse.  MJ dying was a real eye-opener for me this week and not just because of the reaction noted worldwide.  Parts of my childhood are set to the tune of his genius.  Parts of my ascension to adulthood are chronicled by his regression back to childhood. Thanks MJ, for the good, and the Bad.


Diana said...

I may have no ground here because I'm 26 (don't hit me), but I feel the exact same way about many of your list items! We are still hot tho. :D

Michelle said...

I hear ya. I gotta say, that song...I was actually angry when I heard it the first time. I changed the radio station and sent a "WTF" text message to the station manager. Then, I realized little me was not going to stop the radio from playing this massively popular song.

As for the kids, just be glad that have have 2 beautiful healthy boys. If you decide to have another child, it will come at the right time for you and E. I feel like I am behind the curve here in UT because I am almost 30, and have a 1 year old... most of my girlfriends have 7-10 year old now... the grass is always greener. And remember, practicing making babies is just as much fun (if not more!) than actually making one. Much love my young friend!

Melissa (Catlin) Kiser said...

i love the way you can put into words how i feel sometimes. i totally understand where you're coming from. today i realized it's been FIFTEEN years since i graduated from high school and that i have FOUR kids. i was playing "one-two-three-four, i declare a thumb war" with ben yesterday. he actually beat me fair and square. noah starts kindergarten too and it just seems so weird to say i have a 5 y/o. that's so OLD! but, at the same time i don't FEEL old. i only feel old when i look at all the things i've accomplished or the memories i've had. otherwise i'm just having fun living the life i live. do something childish and maybe you'll feel a bit younger too (i went jumping on the trampoline yesterday). sorry to write a bunch of random thoughts on your blog!