Funeral? Will travel!

I got a phone call the other day from my best friend. She called three times that day before we actually got connected, so by the time we were connecting I was worried that something was wrong. Here is part of the phone call, as I remember it:

Me: 'Hey - what's going on? You've called like four times today'
Her: 'I know. I've got to talk to you.'
Me: 'Is everything ok?'
Her: 'Well, I've got some good news and some bad news.'
Me: 'Ok...'
Her: 'My grandpa died. So I'm flying home for the funeral this weekend.'
Me: 'Oh wow (insert nickname). I am sorry. Are you ok?'
Her: 'Yeah, I think so. But the good news is that if you can get there you can see me!' - followed by her laughter, which was followed by my laughter

Now this may seem a little twisted - but it is has been two years since I've seen her. This is the woman who has known me since I was eight and who I've seen every year with the exception of one when she had to go and take herself to frog-land.

We both had our second child last year - she a girl and me a boy only a day apart from each other.. I have never met her little one and she's never met mine.

I leave tomorrow for the trip to see her. I do not think I'll be able to sleep. I start thinking about it and get teary. Of course she is going to read this and roll her eyes. Then she'll call me and laugh about it with me. We'll talk about how different we are.

But I know that the minute we get to hug she's going to cry too. And with this reunion comes not only my normal anxiety over getting packed and making sure everything is ready to go - but excitement that would rival any child's Christmas morning emotion.

Of course every once and a while I have to remind myself that this is a hard weekend for her - and sometimes I have to remind her.

Holier, and thinner, than thou!

As with most people, at some point I subscribed to a few websites that I no longer need or value. So every once and a while I open my hot male account (yes, I like to think of my email as being a little yummy treat, just like a hot male) to find mail from one of these websites, or their affiliates. I'm not sure where this one came from. In fact, maybe it wasn't sent from another website...maybe it was Divine intervention.

I mean fate really intercepted this one for me! I had even hit the 'trash' button to send it to never-never-until-you-scrub-my-computer-land. Then the subject of the email called out to me - 'The Maker's Diet'.

'The Maker?' - I asked.

'The Maker, as in the maker of the diet? - I questioned.

'Or could it be THE Maker' - I enthused!

Of course I had to yank that baby out of the trash and peruse it. Now I'm not a particularly religious person, but all of sudden I felt a stirring in my bosom. This feeling should not be confused with the intense feeling that many get after a wonderful sermon, or reading a striking passage from the Bible, or hearing the waves crash on the shore. Those are incredible experiences for people and I don't want to take away from them.

This feeling was more, well, it was similar to the woman whose anger and contention drives her man to live in the wilderness. This diet, according to the ad I received, will teach me in 40 days to live the way God intended. In the end, if I follow 'the plan', will I not only lose weight, but have a deepened spirituality, and feel happier. I find the reference to 40 days quite humorous - but other than that I am highly offended. And it would seem to me, that others who have deeper faith in religion than I, would be even more furious!

Did this guy have a chat with God and receive a diet plan?

Did God tell him that he shouldn't give the book away free, but only to those that sign-up?

Did God say, 'Wait, I'm going to stop trying to heal the sick, feed the hungry, and watch over the world to come with my new diet plan?'

There are a lot of things that I am unsure of and I'll be the first to admit that. I'm not sure what God is like. I'm not sure what I believe about the end of life. I agree with this author that there is a viable tie between our health, our esteem, and our happiness. His notion that this is God's new directive to us, well that doesn't fly with me.

I would prefer to believe, and cherish the belief, that God loves each one of us regardless of our size. That he would prefer we spent less time trying to diet and more time getting to know Him (or Her or Them). More than anything, I believe God wants us to find love for ourselves, and love for others.

And not for a $4.95 shipping fee.