Kickoff!

I love New Year's.  The reflection on the year past.  Counting down till midnight.  

But the whole resolution thing and I have mixed feelings about each other.  I often start the year out, journal in hand, attempting to fix all the problems of the last year in tidy resolutions for the new.  Sure I can loose all the weight, exercise every day, always have a clean house, never yell at the kids, continue to work on good communication with E, always write thank you cards, blog twice a week, start forgiving myself for past mistakes, make new friends, keep the old...etc.

And within two weeks of writing my resolutions I feel overwhelmed.  If I stop meeting my own expectations I start feeling guilty.  The guilt leads to disappointed and then I spend much too much time feeling disappointed with myself - which then I decide to resolve at the next New Year.

So this year I'm doing it differently.  I started working on things I want to resolve months ago.  Actually I've been working on resolving things as I've noticed their appearance in my life.  And thus far, no feelings of overwhelm.  No anxiety.

Except....I started to feel anxious about not having any real New Year's resolutions.  Should I make at least one?  Which one should I pick?  What if it leads to others?  What should I do with those?

Oh lordie.  I just can't keep up with myself sometimes.

So I back off thinking about it.  While in San Diego I starting noticing all the people walking around wearing green and yellow.  Cars drove by us with decorated windows.  A few people even had their faces painted.   Sports fans!  There for the something-bowl between Oregon and someone.

And it hit me.  For one year I am going to be a sports fan.  I know nothing about sports - only briefly cheered my Utes on when I was in school there.  E loves sports but does relatively little about them since (a) we don't watch tv and (b) I don't watch sports.

It will be fun.  It will be new.  It will give E and I another reason to be hanging out together. And since seasons start all through the year I can balance the resolution out.  

I have no idea how I'll pick a team but once I do, here are my rules:

(1) Choose one team from the following sport genres:  basketball, football, baseball, and either soccer or hockey.  

(1)  I cannot pick a team who won a championship last year unless it's a local team*.

(2) I must read about each sport, learning the language and rules before each season begins.

(3)  I must watch at least four games for each team in each regular season.

(4) At least one of the five games must be watched at a sports bar with rowdy fans.

(5) At least one of the games I have to have my face painted.

(6) I must drive a distance to attend one game.  If it's not for one of my teams then I must assume the position of fan for one of the teams playing.

(7) If chosen team enters the playoffs, I must watch each game they play in.

E seems to think if I'm to immerse myself into the sporting world that I must also join a fantasy sports league.  I told him that I'm not trying to be a sports fan AND a nerd.  

Since basketball already started and it's season is so short in the year if I wait till it starts up again, I'm going to pick a team already in progress.  

So sure, there are other resolutions kind of wrapped up in this.  I can't help it.  

But mostly, I'll have fun.  

Small bites

Last month my cute cousin Ann approached me about doing a triathlon.  Actually, I overheard her talking about it with her in-laws and butted in.   

They are planning to do the Castaic Lake Annual Triathlon.  It's a sprint-triathlon.  Which until a week ago meant nothing to me.  Now it means 3 miles of running, 1/4 mile of swimming, and 10 miles of biking.

And I found myself suddenly compelled to join in.  Maybe it was the Ya-Ya-Sisterhood-ish moment they were all having.  Maybe it's the fact that I spent several hours in a gym and running outdoors suddenly sounded freeing.  Maybe it was all the sugar from the cookies I'd eaten that day.

And this is what I decided...

To do a 5k!  Honestly, I'm not sure I can see myself doing a triathlon.  But I'm working on it.  Because I'd like to say at 31 (which is how old I'll be by the date of the event) that I did it.  And not wait until I'm 50, or never, to do it.  

I start training tomorrow.  My friend Autumn and I are doing some of the training together. And Eric will join me in some of it as well.   But most of the training will go on in my head.  So I could use your support.  

You can track my progress here - but also by talking with me.  It will be a great motivator.  

Anyone else in?

Let's get things started...

I needed a quick and simple way to get things started on my blog again.  As we've been exploring our new community I've been less and less inclined to get on here.  And I miss it.

So let's start simple:  a top-ten list.

Top Ten In-Home Items that Bring My Life Joy

1.   my label maker

2.  my bathtub

3.  the paper shredder

4.  my bread maker (has completely changed my feelings on gluten-free bread)

5.  my Adobe Classroom-in-a-Book books (thanks Ali!)

6.  my Pampered Chef hand-held food chopper

7.  the oil burning tealight thing

8.  tweezers

9.  my Instant Breakfast cup (I have a cup that is dedicated to my morning IB)

10.  my body pillow

What are some of yours?  

Highlights and tags....

I've started a new routine of getting up every morning at 5:30 or 6:00 - just so that I can get my blogging and blog reading out the way. I love it because the house is quiet and I can spend as much time as I want commenting, reading, and surfing. Some days I don't even log-on...and just sit and read, or hit the treadmill. I am remembering how much I love mornings!

Still, I find myself on days like today spending more time on other blogs than writing on my own! And there is so much to catch-up on. So I am going to have to do the Reader's Digest version since it's 6:30 and the boys have been up for a while. Here are some highlights from my last week:

* Spending Valentine's Day in a therapy session with Eric. (Yes, we do therapy. Yes, I am proud of it. I think everyone needs a therapist and every couple could use a therapist. Even if just for a little while. Enough promoting...) I told the therapist, when we made the session, that is was the best gift that we could give each other. Still I was apprehensive about doing a session and then trying to have a Valentine's celebration. It was a really good session - hard, but good. And in true E&S form we sat in the car for 45 minutes talking about it, and then went to dinner and had a wonderful time!

* Having both boys count down the days until we went to the Chinese New Year parade and then watching them be utterly gleeful to be back in Chinatown! (Check our family blog for cute pictures!!)

* My Grandma flying into town. Being able to talk with her about my Grandpa - still a tender subject for both of us.

* Pretending to be a school teacher so I could attend a Nancy Fetzer workshop on child literacy development and learning! Cannot wait to try some things with the boys...

* Getting to talk to my best friend for more than 15 minutes straight, my cousin Sarah for 15 minutes last night, and a handful of others who I needed to reconnect with.

* Hosting our annual Chinese New Year party on Saturday night. Being so thrilled with both the buzz of energy from being around the people (I'm such an extrovert) and watching everyone have a good time. The food was delicious honey. (I am a little sad because, purely out of mommybrainess, I failed to invite some people that I would have loved to have come....)

* Will and Walker trying to use chopsticks. Walker thinking the red bean cake was a birthday cake and not being too thrilled when it wasn't.

* Celebrating Eric's bonus! Congrats again babe!

* Realizing that the boys make fantastic helpers when it comes to chores. I see washing walls as a boring task, they see it as fun! It made this week's house cleaning a whole new adventure for me and reminded me of the joy children seen in the world.

* Making my very first fortune cookies - and gluten-free!

* Paying off a car loan. That's right. I own, for the first time in my life, my own car! Ok, Eric and I both own it. Still, writing out that last check for $300 and knowing that (for better or worse) the car is now ours is pretty exciting.

* Making my very first friend at church. Potty training talks always lead to friendship :)

And now, since it is officially time for me to wake up my sleepy heads, I'll end with a tag. My good friend Melissa tagged me to do this last week. I had typed it up but failed to post it...so here goes:

A: The rules of the game are posted at the beginning. B: Each player answers the questions about themselves. C: At the end of the post, the player then tags 3 people and posts their names, then goes to their blogs and leaves them a comment, letting them know that they have been tagged and asking them to read your blog.

10 YEARS AGO TODAY
I was a mature (smile) 19 year-old. I was utterly in lust with a certain young man and am not sure I thought about much beyond that. Had just started working for Kaplan (almost to the day). I was living with my friend Shelly and my cousin Leslie. Loved life!

5 THINGS ON MY TO-DO LIST TODAY (TUESDAY)

1. Sign Walker up for a dance class. (check!)
2. Go grocery shopping. (no check...)
3. Send in taxes and car registration renewal. (check!)
4. Update family blog. (check!)
5. Spend time with Grandma and get Patti's blog set-up. (check, check!)

5 THINGS I ENJOY

1. Blogging (both writing and reading)
2. Reading (ah...I LOVE reading)
3. Playtime. Whether it's Trivial Pursuit with Eric or giving airplane rides to the boys.
4. Laughing. I take laughter any way it comes...even at my own expense.
5. Friends.

WHAT WOULD I DO IF I WERE SUDDENLY A BILLIONAIRE

1. Pay off debt.
2. Move internationally.
3. Start a non-profit.
4. Hire a personal trainer.
5. Make lots of donations (including an iPod for Eric)

3 OF MY BAD HABITS

1. I don't take compliments very well.
2. Pulling on my eyebrows.
3. I love to channel surf and not just during commercial breaks :)

5 PLACES I HAVE LIVED

1. G-town, California
2. Avenues, Salt Lake City, Utah
3. Huckelhoven, Germany
4. U of U, Salt Lake City
5. Millcreek, Salt Lake City, Utah

5 JOBS I'VE HAD

1. Waitress at Pinnacle Peak (yeehaw!)
2. Client Services for an employment agency
3. Area Director for Kaplan Test Prep
4. front desk at a dry cleaning business
5. Client Services for People Helping People

5 THINGS PEOPLE DON'T KNOW ABOUT ME

1. For most of my adolescent years I wanted to grow up and be a lawyer.
2. Quitting work and staying home with the kids has been one of the hardest (and best) things I've ever done. Both for myself and my family.
3. I cut my really long hair once after breaking up with a boy. He had loved my long hair.
4. My best friend and I planned my 'surprise' 16th birthday party. My mom still hasn't forgiven both of us for that.
5. I secretly wish I had been a heartbreaker. I dated several guys but did not break any hearts...and kind of wish I had!

3 PEOPLE I TAG

Um...it seems the people I tag never do it which leads to great disappointment and depression on my end**...sooo....

ANYONE can do this tag. Just let me know you did it so I can check it out.

**sarcasm in case you missed it**

Wait, how many miles is that?

Last weekend we went down to visit our friends Rob & Melissa who are stationed at Camp Pendleton. We had more fun than can even be described. Towards the end of our visit Melissa brought up the Camp Pendleton 'Mud Run'. Not 'brought up' as in "Did you know they have an annual Mud Run" or "Can you believe that some idiots run in a thing called the 'Mud Run'".

No, no, no. She brought it up by saying "Would you and Eric run this with us?"

I told her to send me the link - which she did - and that we'd think about it.

And thinking about it I have done. All week. Almost every hour I have some thought of this race.

It is 6.2 miles long. 6.2. Did you read that? SIX POINT TWO MILES! Up hills, in the mud, through a river...



I have never run more than two miles in my life. And those two miles were when I was in my first year of college and had strong legs and a stomach unmarred by the stretch of child-bearing.

So...I am completely upended by the question about whether I could do this.

I keep going back and forth in my mind.

Some of my thoughts and counter-thoughts:

* I've been trying to get in shape and this might provide a good goal to work towards. (Yes, but 6.2 miles Shell. Who are you kidding? Even with a training program you're not going to make it.)

* I like the idea of going out every night with Eric to run. (Yes but running Shell? When have you ever liked to run?)

* It would be awesome to be able to say I've done this. Plus maybe it would start a fun trend and we could do other runs with the Gluten-Free team. (Yeah, how awesome would it be to fall flat on your face or quit 1/2 way through the race.)

* There are a lot of people who do the couch-marathon training and succeed. (Just because you've been going to the gym every day doesn't mean you can run a 10k.)

As you can see my inner voice is not being helpful. I can't quite decide if I'm being self-deprecating or realistic.

Honestly I would really like to do it and feel like I'm coming up with all the ways and reasons I would fail to see if I can get past them. If I can get past them now then during the race it wouldn't be that big of a deal.

Thoughts???

Hark the Meme Angels Sing!

We are visiting family out-of-state and I have been keeping busy with projects so I have neglected this blog, phone calls, and general keepings-in-touch. Tonight, after working all day going through my Grandfather's stuff (he passed away last month) I really just needed something fun to do while I watch Law and Order.

This fit the bill:

Christmas Tag!!

Thanks to Holly for the idea! And thanks to my boredom for the nauseating (but fun) colors!

1) Egg Nog or Hot Chocolate? Sorry, anything with the word 'egg' automatically loses my vote!
2) Do you wrap your presents or not? This is such a strange question to me. Are there people who don't wrap their presents...and if so, why the *bleep* not?
3) Colored lights or white? With kids, colored for sure!
4) Do you hang mistletoe? Nope, usually I just eat it.
5) When do you put up your decorations? Personally I like to wait until the 1st of December, but this year it was after Thanksgiving.
6) What is your favorite holiday dish? Funeral potatoes. Yum.
7) Favorite memory as a child? There are so many to choose from. I remember looking out the window, when I was eight or nine, with my brother Alan and seeing a red light flashing in the distance. We were convinced it was Rudolph and we watched that light for a good hour. Alan was the one who told me Santa doesn't exist. I loved that the Christmas elves always rang our doorbell on Christmas Eve and left new pjs on our doorstep. We've already continued that tradition with the boys. I cherish the years that my Grandpa would read the Christmas story - it was so treasured to him. Oh and of course there is the annual family movie night while we watch the Muppet Christmas Carol. It is a must-see movie. The minute the music starts my heart feels light!
8) When and how did you learn about Santa? My younger brother (Alan as mentioned above) and I were snooping in our parents room for presents. We found the 'Santa' stash. I didn't think much of it, but he made sure to explain it all.
9) Do you open a gift on Christmas Eve? The Elf present.
10) How do you decorate your tree? One of the best parts of having children at Christmas is that they help decorate and add their 'flair' to the project. Normally I am pretty OCD about my decorating and the tree ends up looking very symmetrical. Now, we have ornaments that have memories attached and that the boys cannot break and they get put on as manically as the boys like.
11) Snow...love it or dread it? Love it. Never thought I'd say that, but it's true.
12) Can you ice skate? Well enough not to end up with a black & blue butt.
13) Do you remember your favorite gift? I have been fortunate to receive lots of good gifts - but three stick out. The dog (Ty) that I got when I was 11, tickets to Wicked for the first time, and the shredder that Eric gave me last year.
14) What is the most important part of the holidays? My family. Taking time to reflect on the past year. Taking time to give someone something you hope means as much to them as it did for you to pick it out. I love the look a loved one has when they open a gift that really hits them.
15) Favorite holiday dessert? My Mom's Sugar Cookies. We'll have to see if we can make those gluten-free this year!
16) Favorite tradition? One thing that I love in our family is that when Christmas Day rolls around and we are all sitting there waiting to open presents, we take turns in a circular motion, paying attention to whoever is opening it. This allows everyone to have the time to react to their gift and gives respect to the person who bought the gift. I also love that we open a few, then eat breakfast, then come back and open the rest. It helps to keep the focus on Christmas being about family time.
17) Favorite Christmas Carol? I absolutely love 'Carol of the Bells'. With or without words that song moves me.

I'm not going to tag anyone specifically - but if you are reading this, I would love if you do it! If you do play along, let me know so I can see what your answers are!

My Five Life Classes

Terina over at Life as a Military Wife tagged me to do the following meme! I actually really like this one as it reminds me of one of my favorite songs - 'Eight Easy Steps' by Alanis Morrisette (see below). I could just take all the classes that she suggests...I haven't found another song that rings so true in my life. I think I'll do this meme every year and see what classes I've taken, failed, or added!

5 Life Classes to Fix My Existence:

Devise a list of 5 courses you would take to fix your life.
It’s more fun to be in classes with friends, so include
one class from the person who tagged you that you’d also like to take.
Tag five friends to go back to school with you!

I am tagging Jessica, Liz, Ali, Eric, and Melissa - plus ANYONE who wants to do it!

Shell's Life Semester Courses

Course #1: World Religions & Philosophies 501
I've taken world religion and philosophy both before so I want
the advanced course. I want the advanced version of this class.
I want field trips to monasteries, Shinto shrines,
kaballah centers, Hindu temples, sabbath with a rabbi,
visits with theological leaders and religious greats.
Schedule seminars, which include a review
of major doctrinal beliefs, introduction to scripture,
and a question & answer period, with the Dalai Lama, Jehan Begli,
Billy Graham, Ecumenical Patriarch Bartholomew,
Pres. Gordon Hinckley, Archbishop Williams,
Yusuf Motala, Louis Farrakhan, Bishop Tutu,
Mary Manin Morrisey, Arun Gandhi, and more
Given the religious pursuit that I find myself in, having
this class would provide me with the factual information I need
and the spiritual experiences I crave.

Course #2: Expect Reality 101
When I got married (back in 2000!) my Mom's advice to me was:
"The best advice I can give you Shell is to lower your expectations".
The truth is that I needed help setting expectations LONG
before I got married and for every aspect of life - not just marriage.
It is easy to get in a mode where you think your way of doing things
is better than the rest. You expect that people either do things
the way you want, even though you haven't communicated what that looks like.
Or maybe you expected a situation to go differently than it did and
you find yourself being disappointed, a lot. Or you expect,
when the phone rings, that the friend on the other line will actually
ask about your life even though up to this point they NEVER ask.
Even though I got this advice a while ago - I still struggle with this
and would love to make my life easier (and those around me) by
resetting or letting go of expectations.


Course #3: Countries Have Boundaries & So Should You 101
Ugh. How many times have I said 'yes' to something and then
immediately regretted it. It's even more than regret - it's more
of a burning frustration with myself wanting to be 'nice'
to someone else rather than being nice to myself.
Saying no doesn't have to be mean -does it?

Course #4: Deaf Studies & ASL 101
Did you know that people who are deaf prefer
to eat in restaurants with bright lightening? Or that
if someone can lip read that they prefer you speak at your
regular tone of voice even if they cannot hear you because when
you whisper (or do not speak) you do not enunciate as much which
makes it harder to read your lips? Did you know that when you study
sign language part of your study includes non-manual signals such
as the lowering of eyebrows, tilting of head, and placement of
shoulders? I do - but only because my uncle, who was born deaf,
his wife, his children, and my cousin have given me these tidbits.
I am amazed by the ability my uncle Steve has to make people
he is speaking too feel comfy especially when they don't sign -
but I have long been unsatisfied with my ability to fully communicate
with him. By not knowing sign, or much of deaf culture, it makes
him work more to talk with me...even if he's used to it.
I miss out on phenomenal conversations with him and would
LOVE to just sit down, relax, and chat away.

Course #5: Blood Might Be Thick - But It Is Transferable 201
This is the class of Terina's that I would take too! She called it,
"How To Do With Crazy Family Members 101"
I have been working hard on understanding the dynamics
in my family or origin and in Eric's family of origin. This doesn't
mean that I understand them all or that I deal well with them - but
I feel like I am to a place where I can see why things happen. Still,
especially after my grandpa's funeral, I feel like there is SO much more to
explore. I would like to spend a lot of time doing a detailed, relationship
genogram, looking at the roles of older sibling/middle sibling/youngest
sibling in each family, the behaviors that we learn in our first five
years that haunt us as we grow old, and especially how to let go
of the issues that affect our new families that come from the old.

But vanity, not love, has been my folly!

It's the end of a long day at the end of a lengthy week.

To relax I decided to catch up on some blog reading. One random site I found had a Jane Austen Quiz.

How fun! Though it made me realize that it is time to pick up a complete Jane Austen collection and get cracking. I am reading Pride & Prejudice again, but it has been a long time since I read any of the others.

Still - it was fun to do this! I was surprised that I am Elizabeth, though I am tremendously attractive!

:: L I Z Z Y ::

You are Elizabeth Bennet of Pride & Prejudice! You are intelligent, witty, and tremendously attractive. You have a good head on your shoulders, and oftentimes find yourself the lone beacon of reason in a sea of silliness. You take great pleasure in many things. You are proficient in nearly all of them, though you will never own it. Lest you seem too perfect, you have a tendency toward prejudgement that serves you very ill indeed.

Take the Quiz here!

Duck, duck...

Goose!

It would seem that I have been tagged by Lizalicious! Well, more than seem - I have!

I feel lucky - don't you all feel lucky that you get to read these. Stayed tuned until the end to see who I felt like tagging!!

Rules (cause we love rules):
1. The player (c'est moi) lists 6 facts/habits about themselves - try to find 6 you haven't already posted about!

2. At the end of the post, the player tags 6 people and posts their names, and then goes to their blog and leaves them a comment, letting them know they have been tagged and asking them to read your blog for the rules.

~ Six ~
It drives me absolutely bonkers when cupboards and drawers are left open. If we were robbed, I would probably close all the yanked open cupboards before actually itemizing the missing goods.

~ Five ~
For about three months in Junior High I wore fake glasses at home. I wanted to 'look smart'
and thought this must be the way to do it. Plus I looked good in them. Still to this day I'll grab
a pair of glasses just to see how much sexier I look with them - even if they kill my eyes.

~ Four ~
Every single time I do my make-up (which isn't that often any more) I find myself staring at myself in the mirror, pausing for a moment, and then breaking out with model moves or facial expressions. This isn't as a joke because some part of me still thinks I could be the next Julia Roberts.

~ Three ~
I have a dream journal. It's almost 16 years old. I haven't written in it for a while, but my dreams are so vivid that I always woke up with them still playing out, and figured it was a good way to get them out of my mind (or keep them in, depending on the dream!). There is some pretty interesting stuff in there - including some things that have come true!

~ Two ~
Shellina is my evil twin. She's not real but she's who I blame all my craziness and bad behavior on.

~ One ~
One of my pet peeves is mispronunciation. To be fair it isn't that others pronounce a word poorly but rather that I believe that they are pronouncing it wrong. We have a dictionary in our car because I will argue with my spouse about how something is said. I'm always right.

Don't you feel enlightened now? I do - and it was me I was writing about!

Now it's your turn - anyone who reads this is welcome to do it (comment and tell me so I know to check it out) but I specifically tag the following lucky people:

My wonderful, but often poorly pronouncing, hubby Eric.
Terina, the person I've known longer than my dream journal.
My non-evil twin, Michelle.
Ali because she looks smart with or without glasses.
Because Melissa probably does those facial expressions too - I've seen the pics!

Have fun!

An absolute first!

For the very first time in my life I have...

COMPLETED A NEW YORK TIMES CROSSWORD PUZZLE!!!

I can hardly believe it.

I've worked on them before but I have never completed one without help or without quitting 1/2 way through!

WOOHOO!!

Five things: Tag, I'm it!

My oh-so-lovely best friend tagged me to do this a few days ago- and since I am up late doing nothing else, now seems like a good time to do it!

This is called 'Five Things' but five is not the theme...guess not everyone is as Type A as I am, so here goes:

Rule #1: Remove the blog site at the top of the list below, move all the blog site names up one, and add yourself to the bottom.

LDS Writers Blogck
Tristi Pinkston
Lords of the Manor
Life as a Military Wife
The Life I Imagine

What were you doing ten years ago?
I had just turned 19! I had stayed in Utah instead of coming home for the summer. I was working for Kaplan - living with Gladyris - mourning the loss of a boyfriend - and having a blast! We spent my birthday at my friend Alan's apartment where we went swimming, danced, and ate a bunch of college-style crap. Oh, and Shelly, Liz and I did water ballet in the pool. Ha!

What were you doing one year ago?
Let's see. You know, I really can't remember. I think I had just turned 19 for the eighth time. Oh, but I do know I got some great gifts from my boys!

Five snacks you enjoy
(in no particular order)

1. Cheez-Its
2. grapes
3. edamame
4. ice
5. orange creme yogurt

Five songs you know all the lyrics to:

1. Sin, Sin, Sin by Robbie Williams
2. You Are My Sunshine
3. Defying Gravity from Wicked
4. It's Hard to Say by Sister Hazel
5. Brown-Eyed Girl, Van Morrison

Things you would do if you were a millionaire:

1. Pay off our debt
2. Start a non-profit - probably for single moms or low-income children.
3. Buy more Apple stock...and invest in some other hot stocks.
4. Finally buy a ticket to San Antonio :) Plus other tickets to the million places I'd like to go.
5. Put my boys in a fantastic private school when the time comes.

Five bad habits

1. picking scars
2. worrying too much
3. scratching my throat
4. backseat driving (oh, I am horrible at this and I HATE it!)
5. slouching

Five things you like to do

1. talk to people - though I prefer to do it in person
2. read, read, and more reading
3. watch my kids discover new things
4. play games with my hubby
5. relax in the water (pool, tub, ocean...doesn't matter)

Five things you will never wear again

1. big-frame glasses
2. denim dress
3. jelly shoes
4. a wedding dress
5. anything neon

Five favorite toys

1. iPod
2. label maker
3. my kids' imaginations
4. a deck of cards
5. my current collection of books

Where will you be in ten years?
Ideally, in another country, with several more children, a degree or two or three, a productive non-profit. Happy. With friends and with the ability to fly home frequently to see other friends and family.

Tag five friends to complete this survey for themselves:

Um...anyone who wants to! I love reading these.


You're tagged.....