Sunday, June 13, 2010

Veteran Traveller

I opened my email yesterday to find this treasure - a story from Brian Andreas:

carries a lot of suitcases but all of them are empty because she's expecting to completely fill them with life by the end of this trip & then she'll come home & sort everything out & do it all again

It happened to come at a perfect moment. I was stressing over the things still left on my to-do list before I leave.

I leave for Kenya in exactly two weeks.

And I'm torn. Torn between being excited for the adventure and completely flipped out over the bits and pieces that need to be taken care of.

The best advice I've been giving (which is good since it was paid advice) is to lean into the experience. Which is what I am trying to do. When I have those moments where the "stuff" is outweighing the excitement I try to visualize myself letting go and leaning in.

Sometimes it works - and sometimes it doesn't. See inside of me I have two fighting personas. One that needs everything planned out and the other that really, really, really wants to be bohemian. Who wants to throw caution to the wind. Like that scene in Pride and Prejudice where Lizzie is standing on the rocks, high above the world, with the wind blowing. She is fully committed to that experience. Oh how I long to stand on those rocks.

I want to take my empty suitcases and fill them, and then head back out again.

Mostly I'm excited. This is huge.