tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27766763.post2475240074180522612..comments2023-08-29T05:50:13.090-07:00Comments on The Life I Imagine: It's just my personality...Shelly!http://www.blogger.com/profile/08614007608367513032noreply@blogger.comBlogger6125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27766763.post-15897447647682714412008-01-15T13:22:00.000-08:002008-01-15T13:22:00.000-08:00I think that the definition of independent is as s...I think that the definition of independent is as subjective as the mouths that speak it. Some people think it means having value or meaning independent of an outside force or stimulus, some think it means simply not caring what other people think, some people think it means being self sufficient. I think you can be logistically independent but emotionally dependent or vice versa. I think society sometimes lables "independent" people as "not the marrying kind" because they appear not to need anyone else complete who they are or be happy, therefore implying that only incomplete or needy people are the ones that marry. I think independent (ie self sufficient) people who care about other people are the healthiest candidates for marriage. If you're too dependent relationships usually canker.<BR/><BR/>I consider myself independent and I think thats a good and bad thing. Good that I know what I'm made of and where I'm going and can get there on my own wits, but bad that it sometimes puts off good people who aren't as assured of themselves. I'm and ENFJ so people and relationships are intimately important to me as well, so its a bit of a double edged sword. I dunno -Ms. Lizhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08610613067782656189noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27766763.post-20371339230694290832008-01-14T09:58:00.000-08:002008-01-14T09:58:00.000-08:00i have been thinking about this more, and i would ...i have been thinking about this more, and i would rather be around people that are good team players. not that they do what other people want them to do, but those that can compromise and work with people. i like to think of myself as indepedent, but i also know that i am better as a team player. not sure why. if i have to, i can do things myself without anyone else. but the simple fact that i'm married does not take away any of this. i think that was pretty much proved when i drove to CA by myself. it would have been nice to have someone else there to help drive, but i knew that i could do it. (and of course i hate it when men tell me that i can't do something simply because i'm a girl or a wife and have kids with me.....that REALLY gets me upset).TJhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09831373324547267019noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27766763.post-53620418674971135252008-01-13T12:30:00.000-08:002008-01-13T12:30:00.000-08:00Great topic to discuss Shelly! For me I believe be...Great topic to discuss Shelly! For me I believe being independant is the ability to think for oneself as well as sustain your own personal interests and make and carry out goals seperate from a husband or friends or networks. Of course a lot of our goals and likes include that of our spouses (for those of us married) I could not imagine NOT having that in common with the man I share my life with. However, I also keep my own interests running and take time out and travel for myself. One example of this is that for my Birthday every year I take a trip somewhere fun! I try and invite interesting people and best friends....sometimes both together and sometimes not. I most always invite at least 2 people whom I don't know well and have even been so bold to invite a few bloggers. Funny that sounds mental but one of them has turned out to be one of my best friends so you never know! Just a word of advice on that one is to wait a few years to make sure you really know them LOL!<BR/><BR/>So anyway my point really being that I think if you hold your own and don't loose sight of what makes YOU happy and things YOU like (without the compromise) then you can take time out to enjoy them by yourself or invite others to share in that joy, even if it is your spouse. I am always seeking new and exciting experiences as well as learning for myself. I encourage my children to do this and make sure they have alone time every day to explore their imaginations and find out what makes them unique.<BR/><BR/>Hope that lends some insight to your own personal quest!<BR/><BR/>xx-Molly<BR/><BR/>MY word verification is:<BR/><BR/>tbgvjcw= That Bennion girl's vivacious juices couldn't waitFleur de Beehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07597380997663166262noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27766763.post-61791026492923148612008-01-11T22:05:00.000-08:002008-01-11T22:05:00.000-08:00was there any question who talked the most in your...was there any question who talked the most in your family??? <BR/><BR/>i'm not sure about the independence thing. i don't think that being married takes away from our independence. sometimes it gives us more.... but it's late, and i know i'm not thinking terribly clear....TJhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09831373324547267019noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27766763.post-9404701235049797382008-01-11T21:00:00.000-08:002008-01-11T21:00:00.000-08:00I don't think the definition of "independent" with...I don't think the definition of "independent" with which we're all familiar has much of anything to do with marriage. Try a simple exercise to see if it helps you out: <BR/><BR/>Think back to all the people you've met or know that you feel are independent - marital status aside. What are the things <EM>you</EM> feel make them independent? Their relationships? Hobbies? Affiliations? Favorite color? Time management? Tastes in food? I think there are lots of things out there that could potentially help to define somebody as independent.<BR/><BR/>One observation could be that Carrie's feelings about marriage conflict with her understanding or personal grasp of what "independent" means. You could read into how her marriage might be, but that's probably either taking things too far, or hitting too close to home.<BR/><BR/>Can only an introvert be independent? Nah. I don't think introversion and extroversion have much to do with personal independence—going back to what defines independence in my mind.<BR/><BR/>I also don't think people who aren't "independent" are "dependent." I'm ok with neutral ground in there. In addition, although I think personality tests are interesting, they don't define who I am. Maybe that's just my personality to feel that way about them. I've taken far too many to remember all my results, but here are a few… Like Diana, an ISTJ, a near three-way tie (yet in order) blue-white-yellow, and for strengths based management (my current employer's thing) my top five are Learner, Command, Ideation, Arranger, Relator. More than you wanted to know, but oh well.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27766763.post-34593512022230255512008-01-11T17:12:00.000-08:002008-01-11T17:12:00.000-08:00I am ISTJ (distinctively expressed introvert, slig...I am ISTJ (distinctively expressed introvert, slightly expressed sensing personality, distinctly expressed thinking personality, moderately expressed judging personality). Hmm. I judge independence by my ability to take care of myself in different senses of the word -- I consider myself independent because, if needed, I can survive on my own means, my own character. I think being in a relationship <I>can</I> be a sign of dependence -- depending on the nature of the relationship. However, an independent individual in a relationship, in my opinion, is one who is not defined by his/her significant other -- s/he has interests outside that person, happiness does not entirely depend on that person, but the independent person has picked a person and forged a relationship that promotes the identity and happiness of both partners. I'm not ready at this point to even consider myself ready for that kind of independence, but I can take care of myself and create my own happiness, so I also consider myself independent. I'm rambling! Haha.Dianahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01073080246593042144noreply@blogger.com